I knew what I needed to do. Yet, in the quiet of a chosen place, I gave
in once again to distraction. Prayerlessly.
Even though I
had been praying in the flow of the day's activity, and even though I had
been living with a sense of dependence upon God, I seemed to lose confidence
before Him. I just couldn't get beyond my own sense of failure. Lingering
awareness of unanswered prayer as well as my own countless shortcomings
seemed to fill me with doubt.
Why should a Father as wonderful as this hear such an unprofitable
and unfaithful servant? I had not loved God with all my heart. Hadn't been
as considerate of my wife as I had determined to be. Hadn't loved my children
as wisely as I'd wanted to love them. Hadn't used material resources as
thoughtfully as I should have. Hadn't kept my word to stay in touch with
valued friends. Didn't feel I had acted like a genuine follower of Christ
should act toward extended family, co-workers, and neighbors. Bills had
piled up, some past due, not always for lack of money but sometimes for
misuse of time. Feeling addicted to activity and compelled by work responsibilities,
family needs, and routine, I sensed I was doing too much with too little
faithfulness.
Then I remembered something. When Jesus taught His disciples to
pray, He didn't give them a pattern for prayer that began with soul-searching.
As important as it is for us to do spiritual inventory on our failures,
Jesus didn't make confession of sin a priority in prayer. Notice again how
His model prayer begins. Not with inventory of sin. Not with encouragement
to recount the errors of our day. Just an invitation to come to the Father
with a desire to see Him honored in our world as He is honored and served
in heaven. Jesus even taught His disciples to ask for the needs of the day
before raising the issue of their spiritual failures. Only then did He teach
His friends to say, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" (Matt. 6:12).
While this model was probably not meant to be a rigid formula
for all prayer, it set the agenda for heaven's priorities. What surfaces
here for those who have already believed in Jesus is a pattern of heaven's
first concerns. The order is insightful if not always necessary. Does Jesus'
teaching about prayer mean we stop admitting and owning our sin? No, not
as specific sins come to mind. Everywhere the Word of God pleads with the
children of God to turn to Christ again and again from the sins and distractions
of life. Everywhere the Scriptures make it clear that we cannot walk with
God while at the same time walk in conscious sin.
The confession principle of 1
John 1:9 is an important reminder for us to keep short accounts with
God. But this is not Jesus' first priority in prayer. So why doesn't Jesus
teach us to address that which is so burdensome and troublesome to us? Because
He understands our weakness. He understands our pride. He understands our
complete inability to live up to the perfect standards of God's love and
law. For these reasons He came into our world to be a sacrifice for our
sin, to bring us to the throne of His Father's grace.
To remove sin as an
obstacle to God, He suffered in our place as payment for all of our
sin. Because of His sacrificial, atoning death, the first issue of prayer
can now be the honor of the One who has so loved us. Far more of an issue
than our countless sins is whether in this moment of prayer we are longing
for the interests and will of God. Far more important than a rehearsal of
our sins is our desire to see God do His will in our heart. If these priorities
are in place, we can be confident that the Lord will gradually lead us in
a path that will enable us to come to terms with our sinful inclinations
and choices.
Father, we want You to be honored in our lives, for
Your will to be done, and for Your provisions to be our constant source
of strength. Forgive us for adding to all of our other sins the mistake
of not coming to You in prayer because we are preoccupied with failures
Your Son has already paid for.
